Buffy's Salon

A Beautiful Guest Room

Tuscan Bedroom

You will probably have stayed overnight at different hotels, guest houses and the homes of friends and family many times and will know that the experience will vary from being a real treat to a time of awkward discomfort.  When someone is staying, whether a friend, relative or even someone you barely know to whom you are offering generous hospitality, the ball is in your court to make their stay so enjoyable that they feel as relaxed as they would do at home, but also a little bit pampered like a special guest.

Make sure you are ready before your guest arrives.  It's not very pleasant for them watching you rush around making their bed and looking panicked.  You want them to walk into a peaceful and welcoming atmosphere.

Their haven will be the guest room you provide, whether it's set aside for the purpose of guests or whether a member of your family is giving up their bedroom for the duration of the stay.  Here are some tips to make that haven as delightful a retreat as possible:

• if you are fortunate enough to have a guest room set apart, think carefully about how you want to decorate it so that it will be soothing and welcoming - even the smallest space can be a thing of beauty and grace (Country Living provides some inspiration.)
• make sure you have slept there yourself at least once to ensure the bed is big enough, comfortable, the temperature acceptable, there are no strange noises or smells etc
• don't fill your guest room with clutter that you can't find room for elsewhere
• it should go without saying that the bedclothes must be freshly laundered and ironed for each new visitor!
• when ironing the bed sheets use lavender water, or else spray them when they're on the bed
• if it's winter provide a hot water bottle or an electric blanket (don't switch the blanket on without asking; some people hate them)
• provide plenty of pillows and throws or blankets - it's impossible to sit up and read a book in bed with just one flat pillow
• make sure they have both spare hangers for their clothes and at least one empty drawer space
• provide a clean bath robe; hardly anyone packs them because they take up so much room
• leave some chunky socks out for walking around in
• make sure there is a bedside lamp that can be turned off without getting out of bed
• leave a bottle of water (it doesn't have to be bottled water, but this way it stays fresher)
• Either leave some books or magazines in the room that you know will interest them, or show them where your collection is and tell them to borrow what they like.  If they wake up in the night, or have trouble getting to sleep, they will not want to risk waking you by padding around the house looking for some entertainment.
• put a bunch of seasonal flowers on the bedside table
• if possible provide an alarm clock/radio by the bed
• consider leaving a tin of biscuits or some chocolate in case they get peckish
• leave out a big fluffy towel for each person, and possibly a smaller hand towel as well
• light a scented candle before they arrive and leave it in the room for them to use (light floral scent for ladies and woody or spicy for gentlemen)
• show them your bath oils and bubble bath and invite them to use what they need
• keep spare soap, toothbrushes and disposable razors for guests who either forget these things or who are staying over unexpectedly
• lastly, make sure there is a little bin in either their bedroom or the bathroom

If you don't have a guest room and are putting someone up on your sofa overnight use a little table as their bedside cabinet and make sure they have at least a lamp on it as well as any of the above listed items you want to provide.  Make the "bed" up nicely by taking off the back cushions of the sofa and putting the sheet on the bottom cushions, then add pillows and a duvet or another sheet and blankets.

Most of these suggestions are from two of the most delightful books: House Rules by Clare Coulson and Domestic Bliss by Rita Konig.  Both address domestic issues combining practical advice with a little glamour and style.  Just reading them is a treat.

In Praise of Spring Dresses

 

Sassy Jersey Dress by Boden

Spring provides us with an excellent opportunity to eschew jeans, trainers, shapeless tops and all the other less-than-pretty items we fall back on in winter, and remember again that we're women .

 

Marguerite Dress by Toast 

Modern fashion dictates a choice between a kind of grungy, unisex look or one which would not be out of place at a stripper joint.  Happily there are niches in the market which aspire to create dresses that are feminine, colourful and ladylike.

 

Dot Ruffle Front Dress by Cath Kidston

Of course, these dresses tend to be on the pricey side because of the expectation that only someone who is over 30 and prepared to spend a little more on quality clothing would be interested in dressing like a lady.  However, there are always the sales....and those of us who have dressmaking skills will find plenty to inspire us.

  

Princess Dress by Joules

Wearing a dress like this you can't help feeling like a woman, and you're likely to bring a little cheer into the hearts of everyone who is fed up of winter and looking forward eagerly to the gentle, caressing sunlight of Spring.

 

Jaipur Dress by Monsoon

Dresses like these can be worn with a T-shirt or long-sleeved top under them and a little cardigan for extra coverage.

Looking Chic

Woman Modeling a Full Sleeved Suit

One shouldn't confuse looking good with trying to look younger than one is - they're not the same thing at all.  The French seem to understand that better than we do and whilst one sees older French women who are enormously chic, as a rule they seldom look ridiculous.  Women who take a modicum of trouble can look good at any age without trying to pass themselves off as anything that they are not.  On the other hand I don't think trying too hard is attractive either.  It speaks of narcissism and vanity, and of a lack of proportion in one's life and of other, proper interests.  We've all seen those "Noo Yorkers", Tom Wolfe's famous X-ray skeletons, whose over-made-up elderly faces and frail figures look quite scary.  The aim surely should be to try to get the balance right, to work out what suits one and what doesn't, and then to get on with the more interesting parts of life.

Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me
by Lucia van der Post

Feminine Autumn Wardrobe

I freely admit that this post is an excuse for self-indulgence. 

Gentle reader, I am as bad as the next woman, but we don't have to live in jeans.  We all know we look more feminine and feel more beautiful in a dress.  However, we can still look chic and colourful without bowing to bizarre fashions such as showing off our midriff or wearing shorts with tights.  Dressing like a lady has nothing to do with looking frumpy. 

From the autumn range I give you: 

Hotchpotch Jersey Dress from Boden, Jersey is great for the cooler months, both soft and warm

 

Peony Dress by Cath Kidston (no one does tea dresses like Cath Kidston)

For special occasions, Chocolate Silk Day Dress by Principles

 

Quince Blossom Dress by Peruvian Connection (this fabric has an almost Biblical richness)

 

Delphinia Dress by Sundance (I love the idea of dressing like this to muck out a field)

 

For the more exuberant among us, Silk Rabbari Dress at Devotion Trading (inspired by Indian fashions)

   

How to Dress

Glamour Collection II

"There are no ugly women, only lazy ones" Helena Rubinstein

How we look matters.  It matters for all sorts of reasons.  In the Western world we have to wear something every day and, whatever it is, you may be sure it tells the world something about you.  It signals - more quickly than a lightning strike - whether we are fun, clever, elegant, shy, intellectual, dowdy, sloppy, showy...You name it, dress can convey all these qualities and more.  Psychiatrists say that they can judge the psychological health of a person from how they dress - it can speak of optimism, and openness, or despair and utter hopelessness. 

I also believe that dressing at least moderately well is part of proper manners.  Turning up in scruffy clothes to a dinner that somebody has taken trouble with is rude.  It takes the shine off the evening.  Wearing flip-flops to the White House, as some American teenagers famously did, seems to me to show a lack of respect and to speak of an unattractive bolshiness.  We've all known women who've turned up at work in entirely inappropriate gear:  plunging necklines, skirts that are too short.  It is distracting and unprofessional.  But neither have I ever understood why you can't combine glamour with brains.  The fad of some intellectuals for thinking that their IQ depends upon wearing dreary clothes doesn't seem to me to evince much capacity for rational thought.

I also think the older you get, the less you can afford to look scruffy or unkempt.  The young can get away with it, but as time passes it looks less and less attractive, and in the middle-aged and older it can look downright creepy.  

Lucia Van Der Post in Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me

The Lost Art of Formal Dressing

Un Gants

Over the last fifty years there has been a noticeable decline in formal dressing.  As a result, there have been obvious benefits in comfort and time-saving, but at the same time a feeling that everyone looks rather drab and careless about their appearance.  Now I am definitely in favour of being comfortable in our own homes, but how many of us would be prepared to make that extra effort to bring a little more glamour into our lives?  I daresay nobody wants to go back to corset wearing and overly elaborate hairstyles, but is it time to bring back:

1. Wearing gloves for formal occasions.  Long gloves up to the elbow for evenings and short, wrist length ones for a trip into town or to church.  Lacey or crocheted ones in summer.  They have a practical use, keeping our hands clean, avoiding sweat or grease stains on clothes or other items and how much more pleasant for hand shaking!
2. Petticoats.  Is there a more feminine garment?  Again, they serve a practical purpose by stopping your skirt from clinging to your legs or being see-through.  
3. Hats - now virtually only worn at weddings, but at one time a lady would not have thought of leaving her house without her hat anymore than she would without gloves.  Hats were not only a fashion accessory but also served to keep the sun out of the eyes and off the face.  
4. Dressing for dinner - dining was an important social occasion, and to change into something more formal showed respect for both your guests and the food you were eating.  These days when so many sit and eat junk in front of the television the whole art of formal dining could do with a revival.
5. Tea dresses
6. Different indoor and outdoor shoes - using these mean you don't tread dirt around your carpets.  The prettiest examples of these are probably the lace up boots and pumps from the nineteenth century.
7. Fans - they were of course popular for hundreds of years all over the world, both for decoration and for the purpose of cooling oneself.  There was also, of course, the possibility of the secret language of fans.
8. Natural fibres - until around the 1930s nobody wore anything but natural fibres but then nylon became popular, not least because it was so cheap.  Natural fibres, of course, not only feel nicer against the skin, but they allow the skin to breath, and are better are maintaining a constant temperature.  They also reduce the likelihood of skin allergies, are stronger and more durable.
9. Parasols - maybe you think these belong only to the nineteenth century but in fact they were used in Greece as long ago as 1500 BC.  Of course they became an item of fashion but they served, like some hats, a purpose by keeping the sun off their owner.  It has only been in the last few decades that looking like a kipper from soaking in the sun's rays has been fashionable and more recently people have begun to understand how damaging, aging and even dangerous this practice is.  Maybe it's time to bring back the lovely parasol.
10. Stockings - I admit, this one is for your husbands.  Stockings and suspenders are just so much more seductive than tights.  Add a flouncy skirt and petticoat and he will be in heaven.

Lessons in Grace & Elegance

1950's Department Store Ad: Elegant Style

  Of all the things I've learned, it is that grace and generosity of spirit are essential ingredients to the well-lived life.  They add a certain elegance to the most mundane encounter, let alone to life's more major dramas.  I don't mean elegance of the merely superficial kind - though that, too, is not without its charms.  I mean the sort of elegance that, if we looked into it, we would discover is rooted in some kind of moral code.  Kindness is elegant.  Coldness and jealousy are not.  Touchiness and being quick to take offense isn't elegance either.  (My father always had a motto: "Darling," he used to say, "never, ever be offended.  Only small people take offense.")  Social snobbery - which is rooted in a belief that material values, such as money and worldly status, are more important than human and moral worth - is not elegant.  Nor is the sort of behaviour that finds it acceptable to be rude to those who cannot answer back whilst simultaneously being charming to those from whom favours may be expected.  

Lucia van der Post in Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me

Six Steps to Personal Beauty

Felix Potin-Parfumerie

Step One read why Beauty Matters at Chrysalis.

Step Two, be reminded of the importance of posture at Charming the Birds from the Trees.

Step Three, wear the colours that suit you, as explained by Elizabeth The Merry Rose

Step Four, Mrs Wilt says dress like a lady!

Step Five study the appropriate attire for the homemaker so you look lovely even when you're working round the house.

And most importantly, Step Six never neglect your inner beauty.

Be inspired by nostalgia

I hope you will enjoy perusing this selection of romantic ladies' outfits, all of which I found on the internet.  Although they are inspired by styles from bygone eras they are not actually vintage and most of them are available to order.  Alternatively maybe it's time to pull your sewing machine out of the attic.  Or, in my case, buy a sewing machine in the first place. 

Remember, we don't have to live in jeans and T-shirts!

1950s

Satin Swing Dress

1930s

Orpheum Dress

French Quarter Swing Dress

1920s

Flapper Dress

 

Tea Dress by Nataya

Victorian

Silk Rabbari Dress

(although this dress is actually based on an Indian outfit to me it looks very Victorian)

Nightshirt & knickerbockers by Alice & Astrid

Regency

 

Sensibility Regency gown

High waisted smock

The charm of the Victorian nightdress

 

The charm of the Victorian nightdress is easy to explain. One of fashion's best paradoxes, it is both gothic and glamorous, simultaneously concealing and revealing. It radiates puritanism and passion in equal measure, suggesting both discretion and abandon.

I loved this article which was so nostalgic for handmade, feminine and glamorous night ware.

The article rightly bemoans the difficulties for modern women of finding such elegant nightgowns.  Unfortunately it has become de rigeur for most women to go to bed in grungy T-shirts, baby dolls and polyester nightshirts.  The article does give some details of where one can find these garments or, the next best thing, some pretty pyjamas.

You know when I think of white cotton nightdresses I think of Jane & Lizzie Bennett exchanging confidences in bed, or Emma writing in her journal by the light of the candle.  I think of the people of the Candleford post office sociably sitting round the kitchen table at night drinking milk and eating seed cake.  And how many Victorian gothic novels contained scenes in which the heroine wandered around a large,dark and creepy house in her nightgown, trying to unearth the mystery of the strange laughter/scraping sounds/crying in the night?

It's always good to make a ritual out of going to bed; maybe upgrading our night ware would take us closer to a good night's sleep.  On the other hand maybe, like Jane Eyre, our night times would become that much more thrilling...