Buffy's Salon

How to Dress

Glamour Collection II

"There are no ugly women, only lazy ones" Helena Rubinstein

How we look matters.  It matters for all sorts of reasons.  In the Western world we have to wear something every day and, whatever it is, you may be sure it tells the world something about you.  It signals - more quickly than a lightning strike - whether we are fun, clever, elegant, shy, intellectual, dowdy, sloppy, showy...You name it, dress can convey all these qualities and more.  Psychiatrists say that they can judge the psychological health of a person from how they dress - it can speak of optimism, and openness, or despair and utter hopelessness. 

I also believe that dressing at least moderately well is part of proper manners.  Turning up in scruffy clothes to a dinner that somebody has taken trouble with is rude.  It takes the shine off the evening.  Wearing flip-flops to the White House, as some American teenagers famously did, seems to me to show a lack of respect and to speak of an unattractive bolshiness.  We've all known women who've turned up at work in entirely inappropriate gear:  plunging necklines, skirts that are too short.  It is distracting and unprofessional.  But neither have I ever understood why you can't combine glamour with brains.  The fad of some intellectuals for thinking that their IQ depends upon wearing dreary clothes doesn't seem to me to evince much capacity for rational thought.

I also think the older you get, the less you can afford to look scruffy or unkempt.  The young can get away with it, but as time passes it looks less and less attractive, and in the middle-aged and older it can look downright creepy.  

Lucia Van Der Post in Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me

The Lost Art of Formal Dressing

Un Gants

Over the last fifty years there has been a noticeable decline in formal dressing.  As a result, there have been obvious benefits in comfort and time-saving, but at the same time a feeling that everyone looks rather drab and careless about their appearance.  Now I am definitely in favour of being comfortable in our own homes, but how many of us would be prepared to make that extra effort to bring a little more glamour into our lives?  I daresay nobody wants to go back to corset wearing and overly elaborate hairstyles, but is it time to bring back:

1. Wearing gloves for formal occasions.  Long gloves up to the elbow for evenings and short, wrist length ones for a trip into town or to church.  Lacey or crocheted ones in summer.  They have a practical use, keeping our hands clean, avoiding sweat or grease stains on clothes or other items and how much more pleasant for hand shaking!
2. Petticoats.  Is there a more feminine garment?  Again, they serve a practical purpose by stopping your skirt from clinging to your legs or being see-through.  
3. Hats - now virtually only worn at weddings, but at one time a lady would not have thought of leaving her house without her hat anymore than she would without gloves.  Hats were not only a fashion accessory but also served to keep the sun out of the eyes and off the face.  
4. Dressing for dinner - dining was an important social occasion, and to change into something more formal showed respect for both your guests and the food you were eating.  These days when so many sit and eat junk in front of the television the whole art of formal dining could do with a revival.
5. Tea dresses
6. Different indoor and outdoor shoes - using these mean you don't tread dirt around your carpets.  The prettiest examples of these are probably the lace up boots and pumps from the nineteenth century.
7. Fans - they were of course popular for hundreds of years all over the world, both for decoration and for the purpose of cooling oneself.  There was also, of course, the possibility of the secret language of fans.
8. Natural fibres - until around the 1930s nobody wore anything but natural fibres but then nylon became popular, not least because it was so cheap.  Natural fibres, of course, not only feel nicer against the skin, but they allow the skin to breath, and are better are maintaining a constant temperature.  They also reduce the likelihood of skin allergies, are stronger and more durable.
9. Parasols - maybe you think these belong only to the nineteenth century but in fact they were used in Greece as long ago as 1500 BC.  Of course they became an item of fashion but they served, like some hats, a purpose by keeping the sun off their owner.  It has only been in the last few decades that looking like a kipper from soaking in the sun's rays has been fashionable and more recently people have begun to understand how damaging, aging and even dangerous this practice is.  Maybe it's time to bring back the lovely parasol.
10. Stockings - I admit, this one is for your husbands.  Stockings and suspenders are just so much more seductive than tights.  Add a flouncy skirt and petticoat and he will be in heaven.

Lessons in Grace & Elegance

1950's Department Store Ad: Elegant Style

  Of all the things I've learned, it is that grace and generosity of spirit are essential ingredients to the well-lived life.  They add a certain elegance to the most mundane encounter, let alone to life's more major dramas.  I don't mean elegance of the merely superficial kind - though that, too, is not without its charms.  I mean the sort of elegance that, if we looked into it, we would discover is rooted in some kind of moral code.  Kindness is elegant.  Coldness and jealousy are not.  Touchiness and being quick to take offense isn't elegance either.  (My father always had a motto: "Darling," he used to say, "never, ever be offended.  Only small people take offense.")  Social snobbery - which is rooted in a belief that material values, such as money and worldly status, are more important than human and moral worth - is not elegant.  Nor is the sort of behaviour that finds it acceptable to be rude to those who cannot answer back whilst simultaneously being charming to those from whom favours may be expected.  

Lucia van der Post in Things I Wish My Mother Had Told Me

Six Steps to Personal Beauty

Felix Potin-Parfumerie

Step One read why Beauty Matters at Chrysalis.

Step Two, be reminded of the importance of posture at Charming the Birds from the Trees.

Step Three, wear the colours that suit you, as explained by Elizabeth The Merry Rose

Step Four, Mrs Wilt says dress like a lady!

Step Five study the appropriate attire for the homemaker so you look lovely even when you're working round the house.

And most importantly, Step Six never neglect your inner beauty.

Be inspired by nostalgia

I hope you will enjoy perusing this selection of romantic ladies' outfits, all of which I found on the internet.  Although they are inspired by styles from bygone eras they are not actually vintage and most of them are available to order.  Alternatively maybe it's time to pull your sewing machine out of the attic.  Or, in my case, buy a sewing machine in the first place. 

Remember, we don't have to live in jeans and T-shirts!

1950s

Satin Swing Dress

1930s

Orpheum Dress

French Quarter Swing Dress

1920s

Flapper Dress

 

Tea Dress by Nataya

Victorian

Silk Rabbari Dress

(although this dress is actually based on an Indian outfit to me it looks very Victorian)

Nightshirt & knickerbockers by Alice & Astrid

Regency

 

Sensibility Regency gown

High waisted smock

The charm of the Victorian nightdress

 

The charm of the Victorian nightdress is easy to explain. One of fashion's best paradoxes, it is both gothic and glamorous, simultaneously concealing and revealing. It radiates puritanism and passion in equal measure, suggesting both discretion and abandon.

I loved this article which was so nostalgic for handmade, feminine and glamorous night ware.

The article rightly bemoans the difficulties for modern women of finding such elegant nightgowns.  Unfortunately it has become de rigeur for most women to go to bed in grungy T-shirts, baby dolls and polyester nightshirts.  The article does give some details of where one can find these garments or, the next best thing, some pretty pyjamas.

You know when I think of white cotton nightdresses I think of Jane & Lizzie Bennett exchanging confidences in bed, or Emma writing in her journal by the light of the candle.  I think of the people of the Candleford post office sociably sitting round the kitchen table at night drinking milk and eating seed cake.  And how many Victorian gothic novels contained scenes in which the heronine wandered around a large,dark and creepy house in her nightgown, trying to unearth the mystery of the strange laughter/scraping sounds/crying in the night?

It's always good to make a ritual out of going to bed; maybe upgrading our night ware would take us closer to a good night's sleep.  On the other hand maybe, like Jane Eyre, our night times would become that much more thrilling...

What a dress can say

Do you like this dress?  It is from the recent film Atonement in which Keira Knightley plays a young woman from the 1930s and it was voted the best film costume of all time!  Isn't it interesting how nostalgic we are for old-fashioned elegance?  To me it is in part an acknowledgement that women's wear has become rather dowdy and often unfeminine.  Of course, this is an old-fashioned dress with a modern twist.  I wonder if a lady from the pre-War era would have revealed quite so much of her back?  And the bold emerald colour is a reflection of the bright colours that are fashionable at the moment.  (Apparantly three different pigments had to be combined to produce this exact shade.) 

I find two things slightly off-putting about the photo above (apart from the fact that I think I would feel rather insecure without a little more material on the top half).  One is that she is smoking, which I think makes the photo look a bit tacky (she would make the dress smell of stale smoke), however I know that in the 1930s many elegant women did smoke so this is in keeping with the period.  I also don't like how thin the actress is.  Not that I have anything against thin people (and I think Keira Knightley is beautiful) but this dress would look even better on a womanly figure.  I feel that the skinniness of the actress is the result of a modern phenomenon whereby our society has become obsessed with the idea that women should look like half-starved pre-pubescent boys rather than women. 

 

So really this dress, and the woman wearing it, says a lot about modern society.  We are nostalgic for an elegant bygone time, we have a perverted idea of what a woman's body should look like, and we believe in exposing more flesh than we used to; but at least we no longer think that smoking is elegant.  So I suppose three steps backwards and one forwards? 

According to an article at Guardian Unlimited it is very rare for film dresses to be green.  Perhaps you will remember another film where this colour was used to great effect when Scarlett O'Hara cut up a set up emerald green velvet curtains?

An Organised Wardrobe

It's a world-wide joke that a woman has a wardrobe full of clothes and yet nothing to wear.  I thinks this is because, as a sex, we tend towards either impulse buying (maybe because we like the garment or it is in the sale) or we purchase something that we need urgently for a particular event, wear it once then stick it in the cupboard to gather dust.

A few weeks ago I decided it was time to tackle this issue.  I wanted to be able to reach into my wardrobe at a moment's notice and pull out a garment or an outfit that I would be happy to wear and that would be suitable to the occasion.  I am nearly there, and this is how I did it:

• First of all I made a list of the different occasions for which I needed outfits and decided how many outfits I needed of each type of occasion, being generous to allow for things waiting to be washed or ironed or needing mending and so that I would not get sick of wearing the same outfit every week.  (Of course this list would look different for another woman and at different times of my life.)  This is what I came up with:

1. eight work outfits (I work in an office 4 days a week)
2. five smart casual outfits (for most socialising or non-work activities outside the home)
3. six outfits for wearing round the house
4. four outfits to just relax in at the end of a long day (pyjamas are my favourite for that time of the month)
5. three dressy outfits (for example, for wearing out to a smart restaurant)
6. two party or dancing outfits (don't do much of that these days)
7. two outfits I can wear for painting and decorating or any rough jobs
8. plus four outfits that are good to wear to church which need to be pulled from any of the categories above

• Next I tackled my wardrobe.  I removed anything that didn't fit or was the wrong season and put it in a spare wardrobe.  (In Britain there is a difference between what you can wear in the summer and what you want to wear in the winter!)  Then I sorted dresses, skirts and trousers into their different categories, as above.  I then worked methodically through all the skirts and trousers, one by one, working out which tops went with which bottoms.  Sometimes a quick comparison of colours showed what would not work together.  Other things I had to try on to see.  I then placed the tops in the wardrobe next to the bottoms I was going to wear them with.  Next I worked through cardigans to see which dresses or outfits they worked with.  A lot of tops were then removed from the wardrobe because they didn't go with anything.
• I then placed all your chosen clothes back in the wardrobe so that I had whole outfits hanging together within their category.  (Some outfits, for example the ones for wearing round the house, might have ended up in a chest of drawers rather than the wardrobe.)  If I need a special outfit I go to the far right of my wardrobe, if I need an outfit for work, the middle, one for round the home, the far left and so on.
• As I sorted out my outfits I made a list of clothes I needed to fill gaps.  For example, I had a lovely skirt that I wanted to wear for smart casual but no tops that went with it. 
• I then purchased the necessary "fillers" that would finish off outfits.  This makes a lot more sense than impulse buying stuff that I later find I have nothing to wear with.  I am still in the middle of this because, of course, I couldn't afford to buy 8 or 9 items of clothing all in one go, so this can be done over several months.  (BTW I found sales and ebay a good source.)
• I also purchased outfits to make up the numbers necessary for each category.  This was the source of the "nothing to wear" problem.  I found I had plenty of work outfits but only one dressy outfit.  So when I was able to afford a new outfit I made sure I put it in my dressy section rather than wearing it to work.  Then there's no excuse for rushing out and spending too much money on an urgent purchase that you don't like that much.
• On my list of clothes purchases I also added underwear that I needed to invest in.  For example, when I found I didn't have the right colour or shape bra, or needed thermal underwear or wanted thicker tights.  These are items I add to my list as I notice I need them.
• Lastly I am thinking about shoes and boots.  If I notice that I don't have the right colour or style to go with an outfit I can add them to my 'purchase when funds available' list.  Then I know I'm looking for a pair of boots in a particular colour, or low-heeled shoes or whatever rather than, again, just thinking that a pair of shoes look nice and buying them without having an outfit to wear them with.
• I then stuck up on the inside of the wardrobe door a laundry list (pdf attached) which allows me to write down a garment I have worn and when I wore it.  In this way I know when it's time that something went in the wash.  Download laundry_list.pdf .  (Some items like underwear I obviously wash after one wear but dresses or skirts I might wear three or four times before washing.  It's good to be able to know how many times I have worn an item.
• My next plan is to go through all the clothes that were discarded because they don't go with any of the outfits.  Most of them I will sell on ebay or give away to a charity store.  I will only keep hold of such an item if it really, really suits me, in the hope that I'll have something to wear it with one day.
• When the hotter weather rolls around I'll repeat the exercise with my summer clothes.
• As the time comes to replace outfits because they get worn out or the way I spend your life changes I'll keep in mind what colours suit me and what styles suit my figure.  In other words, a carefully thought-out purchase.

Picture courtesy of allposters

Weddings - what to wear

This is a mixture of advice from Vogue magazine and Trinny & Susannah (with a bit of Buffy thrown in) on how to dress well as a guest at a wedding .

• Remember that all weddings are formal and require wardrobe effort, but bear in mind there are different levels of formality.  The style of the wedding invitation and the location are good indicators of the style of the ceremony.
• Wear a dress (or skirt and top) rather than trousers, a wedding is a time to be feminine.
• However, don't dress up like a bridesmaid!
• Best to avoid complete outfits in both black and white.
• Also avoid prints, they date badly in wedding photos.
• Choose something simple that doesn't scream "I've arrived".
• Arms and shoulders should be covered during a church service. 
• Avoid wedding suits with matching hats like the plague.  They seem to be an easy option for a lot of women over a certain age but they look boring, frumpy and rarely flatter your shape. 
• For covering up avoid anything as informal as a denim jacket.  Tweed jackets and crocheted cardigans will also look out of place with any outfit approaching sophistication.
• Keep your handbag small, otherwise it becomes a nuisance and a distraction.
• If it is summer and you are wearing open-toed sandals make sure you give yourself a pedicure.
• If it's a winter wedding consider wearing thermals underneath your outfit rather than using a heavy coat that disguises your outfit to keep warm.
• The later in the day the wedding starts, the more you should dress up.
• For summer weddings wear floaty dresses with either a cropped or long slinky cardigan (nothing in between) or a faux fur jacket.
• For winter weddings wear a colourful and sophisticated top and skirt with a frock coat, fitted velvet jacket or faux fur gilet.

Picture courtesy of Mary Evans Picture Library Online.

The Magic Key to Charm

You have probably caught on to the fact that I like 'vintage' advice as much as some women like vintage clothing.

Consequently I was very pleased to hear about the proposed re-edition of a 1938 book of tips about how to be glamorous.  The Magic Key to Charm will be published in November by Vintage; it was originally written by pioneering female journalist Eileen Ascroft who offers step-by-step advice about how to find friends, run for the bus 'like a young gazelle' and decorate your home to match your hair colour (yes, really!).

Here is a glimpse at some of her advice:

• The woman who believes in "speaking her mind" is never charming.  She is one of two things: either painfully self-conscious or a fool.
• I consider it is a woman's duty to keep the body God gave her lovely to look at...check your measurements on the average every three months, so that you can beware of any slight thickening and counteract it.
• No cosmetics on earth will hide the unpleasant signs in a face of a spiteful, bitter soul.  The only way to banish these blemishes is from within.

Wikipedia has this interesting snippet: Interestingly, for a successful journalist carving out a glittering career for herself in a traditionally masculine industry Eileen’s book, The Magic Key to Charm, is a tutorial in all the traditional feminine virtues. It was published in 1938 and was made up of a collection of her immensely popular column in the Mirror, "Charm School".