Change the Way Young Men View Young Women

This post is part two in my series about how we can help make abortion a thing of the past.

In my previous post I wrote about how we need to change the way young women view themselves in order to reduce the likelihood of them feeling pressurised into having sex (often unprotected) with young men.

Despite the fact that women are supposedly now liberated, one can't help noticing a double standard still operates for many families who differentiate between their expectations of their teenage daughters and their sons.

Many is the father who watches his son go out clubbing with perhaps a conspiratorial wink and possibly a feeling of pride if his son is likely to 'pull' (the rascal).  Or else the father may draw a veil over the whole thing and prefer to keep out of his son's private affairs.  The same man lays down the law with his daughter, insisting she is back by a certain hour, she's not going wearing that skirt and if any boy lays a finger on her he's personally going to sort him out.

In other words we're quite happy for our sons to sow his wild oats with other people's daughters whilst attempting to protect our own from the same treatment.

This is entirely unacceptable.  Why should your daughter be accorded special treatment that you don't accord other young girls?

Both parents need to raise their boys to understand that every young woman is precious and worthy of the utmost respect (yes, even the ones that don't see it in themselves).

Now I know that the teenage years are troublesome times for boys because their hormones are going mad and the desire to procreate is upon them and the sexual images and values being thrown at them by the media are appalling.  It's up to the parents to steer them sensitively through this period without making them feel bad about their feelings.  Of course a lot of this has to do with self-control.  You might not be able to stop yourself feeling aroused by the sight of a pretty girl but that is a big step from actually manipulating and pressurising her to sleep with you.

I am, of course, aware that many girls don't need much pressuring, but just because a girl is willing to have sex with a young man, doesn't ergo mean he has to sleep with her.  If he likes her then he should get to know her really, really well before he even considers having sex; if he doesn't like her then the last thing he should do is sleep with her.  Doesn't he have any self-respect?

If you are a man reading this there are two more things you can do:

1. Never, never join in that sex-talk thing that a few men do when they're talking about how many women they've slept with; talk about cheapening women!
2. Mentor a younger man and help him understand about the proper place for sex in relationships.  Even if you slept around a bit when you were younger you can give him the benefit of your wisdom by explaining how meaningless sex without love and commitment was, and how it's worth waiting until you meet someone you really, really care for.

Comments

[MInTheGap]

I guess it goes back to how people view each sex. They have a skewed view of reality-- like you said-- where "it's alright as long as it isn't my daughter." In reality, this view ends up being wrong, because it's always someone's daughter.

[Buffy]

Yes, you said it perfectly: "it's always someone's daughter".